The Carrot, the Stick and the Spreadsheet

With D-day now just a month away, our village heads can been spotted walking around with an extra alertness, their eyes furtively taking in every passer-by – Tragicomix looking out for potential artists, experts or really just anyone who may be attractive enough to throw onto a judging panel; Mono and Polysyllabix cornering those whom they can scare into giving us money; and Fullyautomatix sizing up all who may be fit to lift a microphone or ten. Only Getafix walks with the same calm shuffle he is known for, leading tempers to rise in resentment against his well-oiled publicity machine. Which leads us to ask, how efficient really are these men in charge? 

When confronted with this question, all of Mono and Poly’s workers immediately responded positively, commenting upon everything from superlative leadership skills to charisma to physique. Of course, this reporter did not miss their widening eyes, their quivering lips, the strangely rehearsed manner of their answers, and the quick snap to attention at the mention of their masters’ names. 

Tragicomix’s helpers, whom he had affectionately nursed into a close-knit family, were aching due to the separation from their ‘Daddy’. Dispersed across the country, they were bonded by a painfully thought out to-do list that lay forgotten, a single techni-coloured & partly immobile spread sheet that gave many-a-headache, and the promise of a huge party upon reunion that had been carefully noted.  Under the influence of love and bribery, the underlings worked hard (or so they claim) to please Tragicomix’s exponentially increasing number of emails. 

Fullyautomatix’s cronies were unable to comment on their leader, who had them downing protein shakes and pumping iron at the gym, and were hence too busy for an interview. When cautiously approached for a sound byte while overseeing the boot camp, he turned, red-eyed and whistle-in-mouth, and threatened to set his not-so-mini-ons on the unassuming reporter. 

Seemingly immune to the sleep deprivation and receding hairlines that surrounds him walks Getafix. What is the secret to his head full of hair, we wanted to know? And the secret- a 'planned well in advance' holiday  but not before delegating all his responsibilities very efficiently to the  Publi team. His bleary eyed, sleep deprived, receding “hair-lined” subordinates readily concur.

Of course, there’s no leaving out the boss of all bosses, the man of the festival, the Spreadsheet wielder… you get the point. Vitalstatistix keeps the vertical heads on their toes or, in this new digital age, with their cell phones perpetually on mute to avoid his ever increasing calls. There’s no question that he is the driving force behind Unmaad, and hats off to him for still finding time to shoot his precious hoops! 

So there we have it. Our leaders guide us with a poisonous combination of love, fear, efficiency, corruption and bribery that makes Unmaad run at the end of the day and the villagers, nervous workaholics.

A leak here, a leak there

As part of our “tell-all” policy, we are bringing to you selected excerpts from over 100 text messages leaked from the personal mobile phones of the main fest organizers in the village. We would like to take this opportunity to introduce two more villagers:

Cacofonix - A crucial senior member of the events team, it is his responsibility to ensure that all the musical events run on a tight, precise schedule. Of course, this is made all the more complicated by the fact that he usually forgets to attend events meetings and on the rare occasions when he does attend, usually curls up and goes to sleep in a corner within minutes.

Unhygienix – Unlike his name suggests, this infra team member is a stickler for hygiene. He is well renowned for using the choicest of Hindi and English nouns to address errant vendors and unsupportive club members. A key player in the Infra team, he complements Fullyautomatix perfectly. Perhaps a bit too perfectly, as the leaked messages of Dec 23 (the last one below) suggest.

Dec 12 2010 3:17 pm: Polysyllabix to Monosyllabix: 4 of my companies just refused to give sponsorship 4 Unmaad
Dec 12 2010 3:19 pm: Monosyllabix to Polysyllabix: Worsshhht guy, we needed tht money. What’ll I tell Tragicomix now? He’s already crying tht he can’t get judge money
 Dec 12 2010 3:21 pm: Polysyllabix to Monosyllabix: Tell him tht I’m trying to sell my kidney on the black market 2 raise money
 
Dec 14 2010 2:10 am: Tragicomix to Cacofonix: Have sent mail to Shah Rukh Khan to attend Unmaad 2011. Waiting for reply
Dec 14 2010 3:00 am: Cacofonix to Tragicomix: Good luck with that
Dec 14 2010 3:01 am: Tragicomix to Cacofonix: u think he won’t come?
Dec 14 2010 3:02 am: Cacofonix to Tragicomix: dude, y shud he come just because u mailed him? We need to be more persuasive than tht
Dec 14 2010 3:05 am: Tragicomix to Cacofonix: wht do u suggest?
Dec 14 2010 3:06 am: Cacofonix to Tragicomix: We’ll declare in the media that SRK is coming to Unmaad 2011. Then he’ll be forced to come
Dec 14 2010 3:09 am: Tragicomix to Cacofonix: Cool. U handle tht

Dec 23 2010 12:20 am: Fullyautomatix to Unhygienix: dude, shift closer to my room at least till Unmaad
Dec 23 2010 12:21 am: Unhygienix to Fullyautomatix: y?
Dec 23 2010 12:22 am: Fullyautomatix to Unhygienix: I want us to be closer together.

Vindication?

One of the first village meets we had was called to decide the theme of Unmaad 2011. Several ideas were floated around, some interesting, some boring, and some plain weird. Finally, after much deliberation, one theme was selected from amongst several contestants. It was “Unmaad, therefore I am”. That meeting was a pivotal moment in this year’s Unmaad, since it was at that meeting the flavour for the entire fest was decided. It was all the more crucial since the theme of the previous edition of Unmaad (“The World is Bangalore”) sold more Unmaad T-shirts than any other Unmaad theme. In the world of college fests, t shirt sales are the ultimate acid test for success. So the burden rested heavily on the shoulders of all the villagers to decide on a theme that would carry the legacy forward.

“What happens at one am?”

After the meeting got over, all the villagers segregated into separate groups to deliberate on the significance of the decision they had just made. The major obstacle seemed to be that there was no unified consensus on what the heck the theme meant. Everybody had their own opinion, and some had more than one. Polysyllabix was absent for the meeting that decided the theme. Upon hearing of the theme, he reportedly asked Monosyllabix “What happens at one am?” Monosyllabix had to explain to him that the “I” was the alphabet I and not the Roman numeral.

The events team convened an emergency meeting to design events according to the theme. Tragicomix started off the meeting by explaining to his underlings that the theme had to be looked at in the respect of certain individual and essentially unique characteristics, whether it be that of a person or an institution and those which are consonant and harmonious with the identity of the aforementioned parties, and not a broad view of the entire spectrum of intermeshing qualities that generally include such persons or institutions in its sweeping range. While Tragicomix paused for breath after providing this insight, one of the villagers asked if this theme meant the power of an individual identity and what it could accomplish. That simple description changed everything.

The theme takes off (or so we think, therefore we are!)

Indeed, that’s what it was. The power of an individual, that unique identity that defines one’s existence and makes possible feats of courage and innovation that would otherwise get lost in the clutter. We decided to celebrate the individual this year.

The most beautiful thing about this theme is that it is open to all sorts of interpretation. Getafix decided that the biggest weakness of the theme, namely, that it was open to a multitude of interpretations, would be turned into its biggest strength. It seemed fitting that a fest designed to celebrate the power of the individual should have a theme that could be interpreted by anyone in their own, unique manner. So we have Rajni posters, Tendulkar pics, Wikileaks and plain old FB status updates, all celebrating this flexible and extremely powerful concept. Your ability to interpret this theme is limited only by your imagination. Indeed, it’s a fitting tribute to Descartes, who famously declared, “I think, therefore I am”.

Show and Tell

At the recently concluded village meeting, all of us were pretty much apprehensive. Everybody had their list of complaints. Chief Vitalstatistix started off first, complaining that his spreadsheets were not being filled up by the others. All the others immediately said that they had completed all the work allotted to them. The chief conceded this point, but then immediately declared that lines of communication had been broken and needed to be re-established. At this point Tragicomix raised the vexed issue that he was not aware of all the lines of communication in the first place. “How do you re-establish invisible lines of communication,” he asked. Seeing as how an impasse was reached, that point was pushed away from the agenda in favour of more pressing matters like …. Well, money.

Polysyllabix informed the village committee that companies were very enthusiastic about giving money. Tragicomix seized this opportunity to ask him why exactly was it that he never got enough money to call all the celebrities he wanted to judge his 30 + events. Polysyllabix pointed out that even though the companies were very enthusiastic about giving money, they hadn’t actually given any of it yet. Upon being asked by when the money could be expected, Polysyllabix made his legendary puppy face (that has melted many a minds at corporate levels all over Bangalore) and pleaded that he would notify the concerned people as soon as money started coming in. Tragicomix interjected at this point that he was very concerned about calling a prominent beauty contest winner and needed to be informed soon. Vitalstatistix promptly brought in the issue of broken communication channels again at this point, upon which the meeting adjourned temporarily for five minutes of fighting.

As soon as the meeting reconvened, Getafix told all of us that the publicity for Unmaad has been going on at full steam for some time now, and that he expected more colleges to come in this year. Upon hearing this Fullyautomatix went into shock, because it was his responsibility to provide accommodation to all the hundreds of extra participants who were going to come. He was soon taken away to be spiritually revived, and this prompted the ending of the first major meeting the village had had in some time.

Unmaadleaks - I leak, therefore I am

Wikipedia describes Unmaad thus, “Unmaad is the flagship annual cultural festival of IIM Bangalore. Spanning three days of non-stop events, Unmaad draws thousands of participants from across India and features a host of events like dramatics, music performances, dances, quizzes, debates, street plays, professional concerts and the grand Unmaad fashion show. The event attracts not just students from over 400 colleges across India, but also IT professionals from all across Bangalore.

Over the years, it has hosted some noteworthy performances by artists, such as Shankar Ehsaan Loy, KK, Kailash Kher, Lucky Ali, Strings, Jethro Tull, Indian Ocean and many others”. For the city of Bangalore, Unmaad is the heady combination of Woodstock and corporate retreats. But rarely, if ever, does anyone come to know about what goes on behind the scenes to prepare, plan and meticulously execute this spectacle.

For the first time ever, we bring to you those tales of heartbreak, hard work, stupidity, flashes of genius and plain good luck which goes into making an Unmaad a success. The twist here is that these stories are being brought to you as they happen in the runup to Unmaad 2011, in the serene setting of IIMB village  Real time. We swear.

To protect the fragile reputations of those involved, the identities of all the villagers will be kept strictly confidential.

Dramatis Personae:

Vitalstatistix – Known for his inordinate love for basketball and his pet 4.1 speaker system, he guides the entire team forward with a smile, spreadsheet and song. Although he realises that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow, he is confident that he can take out another low interest loan to cover it. He spreadsheets, therefore he is.

Getafix – The cool, calm and collected man in charge of publicity. His role in our village is two fold - to defuse any fights that may break out amongst the team mates, and to concoct a potent mix of social, viral and traditional marketing to publicize Unmaad. He markets, therefore he is.

Tragicomix – Tall, dark and handsome, this self proclaimed ladies man is in charge of making sure that all the events in Unmaad are executed beautifully. Since events make or break any fest, the rest of the village are constantly at his throat to produce miracles every day. He is creative, therefore we hope to God Almighty he will be.

Monosyllabix and Polysyllabix – The two men in charge of bringing in money from outside to run the events. Since all budgets are made to be broken, they are constant basket cases. They provide, therefore we eat.

Fullyautomatix – He is the person charged with making sure that the infrastructural requirements are all in place for the events and the rock shows. Like all good blacksmiths, his duties increase in times of war, and with just a month left to go for Unmaad, he has started heating up his tongs. He organizes, therefore we are.

Therefore, I am

They defied logic. They broke rules. They caused chaos. And from this madness, a new culture is born. One man's experiments with truth. One man's long walk to freedom after 26 years in prison. One woman's saintly work in the gutters. One man's perspective on a falling apple. The power of one that can change it for all. They inspired and have proven, time and again, that each one of us has it in us. All it takes is a leap of faith.

Unmaad 2011, IIM Bangalore's annual cultural festival, celebrates this silent power that resides in every individual – the power to belong, the power to break free, to forge, to overcome and to make a difference. I walk, I talk, I sing, I dance, I question, I create, I think, therefore I am.

Let the madness begin!

The Globe Story

Globe: A spherical representation of the earth or of the constellations with a map on the surface. Oxford English Dictionary.

For us at IIM Bangalore, the definition of Globe is very different. It is eloquent drivel. A lot of profound words strung together to make no sense. Loquacious jargon. Something all of us would-be, have-been and might-be B-school students recognize with rolling eyes. This.

And in July 2009, we were faced with the task of coming up with a mascot for Unmaad, to be held in October that year. In October, when IIM Bangalore would be teeming with exchange students from all over the globe. We discussed. We brainstormed. We stretched our limits of creativity. We decided to take a break. Hey but did we just say globe? Of course it had to be Globe! Thus Globe was born, late one beautiful summer night, while most of us had decided to give up trying to stay up in classes anymore, with a few skillful strokes of Mak's sketch pen. And it did not stop until one day, he realized, he had sketched every conceivable form of Globe. And so did the world. Because that October, the world was going to be Bangalore!

Globe aka Globe-trotter ak(more lovingly)a Globu, in his several forms, immediately stole the hearts of the globe-infested multitude at IIMB. And the sanity of his creators, denying them of the few minutes of sleep during classes and the globe-less dreams in their sleep. He welcomed the musicians as Globe Satriani. The Reshammiya fans with his Jhalak dikhla ja, Bangalore aaja. The mavericks with Guevera's Come join the Global Revolution! The artists as M F Hussain. The dancers with MJ's moonwalk. And thus, Globe became the icon of Unmaad October '09.

Legend tells of a legendary college fest whose awesomeness was the stuff of a legend. And Kung-fu Globu says, this legend is called Globe@Unmaad Oct '09. He will remain forever in the hearts of all those at Unmaad last year.  On worn-out T-shirts. On our hostel room walls. And will go down in history as the one who reconciled the IIMB lingo with the Oxford English Dictionary. Globu! You shall have always a firm place in our hearts. Sing the October Song, and Unmaad will welcome you with open arms. <Sniff>

Unmaad 2011

Unmaad 2011 will take place from 21st to 23 January, 2011. Mark your calendars!!