With D-day now just a month away, our village heads can been spotted walking around with an extra alertness, their eyes furtively taking in every passer-by – Tragicomix looking out for potential artists, experts or really just anyone who may be attractive enough to throw onto a judging panel; Mono and Polysyllabix cornering those whom they can scare into giving us money; and Fullyautomatix sizing up all who may be fit to lift a microphone or ten. Only Getafix walks with the same calm shuffle he is known for, leading tempers to rise in resentment against his well-oiled publicity machine. Which leads us to ask, how efficient really are these men in charge?
When confronted with this question, all of Mono and Poly’s workers immediately responded positively, commenting upon everything from superlative leadership skills to charisma to physique. Of course, this reporter did not miss their widening eyes, their quivering lips, the strangely rehearsed manner of their answers, and the quick snap to attention at the mention of their masters’ names.
Tragicomix’s helpers, whom he had affectionately nursed into a close-knit family, were aching due to the separation from their ‘Daddy’. Dispersed across the country, they were bonded by a painfully thought out to-do list that lay forgotten, a single techni-coloured & partly immobile spread sheet that gave many-a-headache, and the promise of a huge party upon reunion that had been carefully noted. Under the influence of love and bribery, the underlings worked hard (or so they claim) to please Tragicomix’s exponentially increasing number of emails.
Fullyautomatix’s cronies were unable to comment on their leader, who had them downing protein shakes and pumping iron at the gym, and were hence too busy for an interview. When cautiously approached for a sound byte while overseeing the boot camp, he turned, red-eyed and whistle-in-mouth, and threatened to set his not-so-mini-ons on the unassuming reporter.
Seemingly immune to the sleep deprivation and receding hairlines that surrounds him walks Getafix. What is the secret to his head full of hair, we wanted to know? And the secret- a 'planned well in advance' holiday but not before delegating all his responsibilities very efficiently to the Publi team. His bleary eyed, sleep deprived, receding “hair-lined” subordinates readily concur.
Of course, there’s no leaving out the boss of all bosses, the man of the festival, the Spreadsheet wielder… you get the point. Vitalstatistix keeps the vertical heads on their toes or, in this new digital age, with their cell phones perpetually on mute to avoid his ever increasing calls. There’s no question that he is the driving force behind Unmaad, and hats off to him for still finding time to shoot his precious hoops!
So there we have it. Our leaders guide us with a poisonous combination of love, fear, efficiency, corruption and bribery that makes Unmaad run at the end of the day and the villagers, nervous workaholics.
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